I think that when I thought of retirement, I anticipated that I would have a lot of unstructured time. I would be able to pursue my interests as they arose without the schedule that is a part of everyday work life. I am discovering, however, that even without the structure of getting up and going to work every day, I continue to build routines into my life. I don’t use an alarm to wake very often, but I continue to be an early riser. I am especially prone to rising early when I have a significant event in a day. My wife has learned to adjust to my desire to arrive early for every appointment and event. I am no longer the first person to enter the church building on Sunday mornings, but I’m often the third, arriving before any other lay people, and often before all of the staff have arrived. It feels familiar and comfortable for me.

I have developed routines for many days. Some days I am eager to get to the farm to do a bit of work. Some days I have a medical or dental appointment. Some days I have planned to grocery shop and refill the pantry. Sometimes i have an errand that takes me into Bellingham. Some days we head down to Mount Vernon to visit the library and perhaps have lunch with our son. Some days we have invited guests to dinner and I have a bit of extra cleaning or meal preparation to do.

However, my schedule is definitely more flexible than once was the case. When someone proposes a meeting, I’m usually available. I keep a calendar just to keep things straight, but there are days when I don’t consult it.

Every once in a while, however, for whatever reason, I break my routine. That is happening this morning for some reason. Usually, when I wake for the first time in the night, after having slept for a few hours, I get up and write my journal entry. I usually scan the headlines on the BBC website and the New York Times. Sometimes I have a topic in mind in advance and the writing comes easy. Other times, I struggle to get started with my entry, trying to come up with a topic that is somehow fresh. I don’t want to bore those who read my journal. I’m aware that like many things in the life of one my age, there is a certain amount of repetition. There are topics to which I return over and over. There are probably sentences and phrases that I have written before, though I try to keep things fresh enough to be interesting.

Today, I rose a bit earlier than usual because I have an 8:30 appointment in Bellingham. I got up, did my morning routines, and got dressed. l had prepared my breakfast ahead of time win anticipation of an early departure, so I had time to read a book as I sat at the table and ate. After I ate I lingered for a bit to read a couple of extra pages, got up and took care of my dishes, and since it was still too early to leave for the day, I went to my desk and turned on my computer. As I sat down, I realized that I had not yet read the days headlines. My browser defaults to my website, so I checked, with a bit of panic, my own journal. And there was no entry for today! Somehow in the night, I completely forgot to write my journal entry. This is not something that is common for me. I’ve been writing and publishing my journal on my website every day since 2007. When I have a particularly busy time in my life, I occasionally will write an entry the day before to speed up the next morning, but I can’t remember every simply forgetting to write at all.

At least I have a topic for today’s entry. And, fortunately, I have time to write before I head off for the rest of my day. Readers who are in the Central of Eastern time zones may have already checked and discovered that there is no entry up for today. Hopefully, they will be able to return later to discover that I didn’t just skip the day entirely.

I know that the day will come when I am no longer to publish my journal. However, that day seems to be a long way away for me. It really isn’t that much effort to write a personal essay and it helps me process the things that are going on in my life. And, for now, the minimal expense of maintaining a web site is not a financial burden for me.

When I first retired, I envisioned that I would take time to organize all of my journal archives. I developed a way of creating large .pdf documents to replace the individual entries in my files. I streamlined the way that I made older entries available. I started with my first published entries and, for a while, was making steady progress. However, I haven’t worked on that project for months. Other things seem to take precedence. And, it appears, going back through old journal entries isn’t all that interesting for me. I lived those experiences and don’t seem to have much need to return to them. I do think that there are a few entries that are worth saving. If I got organized there is probably a collection of essays that would make an interesting book with a little editing. That seems to be a project for the future somehow, and projects for the future sometimes are never accomplished.

For today, I’ve already shaken up my routine. Things are a bit out of order. I doubt that it will have much of an impact on my day. I’m taking my truck to the shop, and they will give me a ride to the church where I will meet with people and work in the church library until I get the call that it is time to pick up the truck.

Life goes on - even when I fall out my routine.